Plague

So... I have the plague.  No, seriously.  I have the plague.  I've said this to colleagues and friends, and they always kind of laugh and back away as if they don't want to catch a cold.  Yeah... I actually have the plague.  OK... so, perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration.  But I do have a particularly nasty boil, perhaps carbuncle. What is a carbuncle, you ask?  It is a cluster of boils.  I only think it's that because this chunk on my leg being eaten alive by god's wrath and vengeance is freaking huge.  HUGE. 

Anyway, you might be wondering how one gets the plague, er, boil.  Well, it can happen due to an ingrown hair (wtf?) or many other ways. How did I get it?  Well, that's a fun one.  See, I in fact thought that I might have an ingrown hair on my leg!  There was this red spot, about the size of a pencil eraser that just wouldn't go away.  Finally, a bit of, well, you know, pus came out.  Well, a couple days later, still not better.  Now, you may not know this, but I have a Ph.D.  Really.  I do.  I promise.  And this is the moment when I threw it out the window.  I took a safety pin and "picked" at that spot.  Several times.  I even thought "it won't be too bad if I use my lighter to 'clean' it."  Except I couldn't find my lighter. Meh.  No problem.  I used it anyway.  That spot the size of a pencil eraser swelled up to become the size of a quarter.  And it's swollen, red, nasty, and PAINFUL.

Smart move.  I'm brilliant.

UPDATE:  Had to have surgery.  A year later, and the scar is WICKED!